Is It Time To Night Wean Your Toddler?

Nighttime Feeds - Balancing the Bond and the Need for Rest

Night feeds can feel incredibly special. In the quiet of the night, when the rest of the household is asleep, it can feel like it’s just you and your little one in your own small bubble. For many parents, those moments are full of closeness, comfort, and connection.

But when night waking for feeds continues well into the toddler years, it can also become deeply exhausting. Broken sleep night after night takes a toll, not just on your energy levels, but on your mood, your patience, your relationships, and your overall wellbeing.

This is a question I’m often asked in my work, and I understand why it can feel so loaded. Parents usually come to me feeling torn. Part of them wants more sleep, and another part worries about whether their child is ready, or whether stopping night feeds might affect their connection or the special bond they share.

So how do you know if it’s the right time? And if you do decide to night wean, how can you do it in a way that still feels gentle and supportive for both of you?

Let’s walk through this together.

Does Your Toddler Still Need Night Feeds?

Once toddlers are eating a good range of solid foods across the day, with three meals and often snacks as well, most no longer need calories overnight from a nutritional point of view. At this stage, night feeds are usually much more about comfort, familiarity, and habit than hunger.

In my work as a Sleep Consultant, I often see toddlers who wake every two or three hours overnight, not because they’re starving, but because feeding has become their main way of settling back to sleep between sleep cycles. The smell, taste, warmth, and closeness of you is incredibly soothing, and it works quickly, so it makes complete sense that your child has learned to rely on it.

That doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. It simply means your child has formed a very normal and very human sleep association.

If you’re genuinely happy to continue night feeds, and your child is thriving, and you’re coping well with the broken sleep, there is no rule that says you must stop. Some families choose to continue, and that’s completely okay.

But if you’re feeling worn down, running on empty, or noticing that the lack of sleep is starting to affect your physical or emotional wellbeing, that’s important too. In my experience, many parents reach a point where they realise something needs to change, not because they’ve failed, but because they matter as well.

Signs It Might Be Time to Think About Night Weaning

You might start thinking about night weaning if:

• You feel emotionally ready to make a change, even if you’re a bit nervous about it.

• The broken sleep is leaving you exhausted, overwhelmed, or more anxious than usual.

• You’re finding yourself feeling resentful or touched out, and missing having any space to yourself.

• Your relationship with your partner is being affected, whether that’s through lack of time together or disrupted sleep for everyone.

• Other children in the house are being woken or are missing out on your time in the evenings.

• Your daytime routine is changing, for example you’re returning to work or your child is starting daycare, and feeding is becoming more about comfort than nutrition.

• Your toddler is filling up on milk overnight and isn’t eating as well as they should during the day.

• You’re pregnant again and know that continuing as you are will no longer be sustainable.

There’s no single “right” reason and no perfect age. What matters most is how things are feeling for your family right now.

How to Gently Wean From Night Feeds

If you decide the time is right, the kindest approach is almost always a slow and gradual one. In my years of working with families, I’ve seen that gentle, steady changes tend to be much easier for toddlers to accept, and much easier for parents to stick with.

Here are some supportive ways to approach it:

Be kind to yourself
This can be an emotional transition. You’re not taking away your love or your comfort, you’re just helping your child learn a new way to settle at night. You’ll still be there, still responding, still offering closeness and reassurance.

Start with daytime feeds
If your toddler feeds very frequently during the day for comfort, it can help to gently reduce some of these first. Offer cuddles, stories, or a change of activity instead. This helps them practise getting comfort in other ways before you tackle the nights.

Gradually reduce night feeds
Rather than stopping all at once, you might start by feeding at every second wake, and settling the other wakes with your voice, your touch, and your presence. Over time, you can slowly reduce the number of feeds further.

Introduce a comfort item
A small blanket or comforter that smells like you can be very reassuring. It gives your toddler something familiar to hold onto as they learn to settle in a new way.

Create a nearby sleep space if needed
If you’ve been co-sleeping, some families find it helpful to move their toddler into a cot or bed right next to them first. This keeps that sense of closeness while gently changing the sleep setup.

Share the load
If you have a partner, involving them in some of the bedtime or overnight settling can really help. Sometimes toddlers accept comfort more easily from the non-feeding parent overnight, and it also gives you a chance to catch up on some much-needed rest.

Above all, go at a pace that feels manageable. There’s no prize for doing it quickly, and no failure in slowing things down if it feels like too much.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Making changes around sleep and feeding can bring up a lot of emotions. You’re not just changing a routine, you’re changing something that’s been a big part of how your child feels safe and settled.

In my work, I’ve supported thousands of families through this exact transition, and I know how different every child and every parent can be. There is no one-size-fits-all plan. The key is having a clear, gentle approach and the consistency to see it through.

If you’d like some support while you navigate night weaning, you’re very welcome to get in touch. Together, we can create a plan that feels right for you, your child, and your family, and helps everyone get more rest along the way.